As I stop and take a closer look at my opinions on family, I realize the risk I am taking. I have a large and extended family scattered across the planet. Some of them live in places I have never been. Some of them I have never spoken a word to. Still, they are my family, and that makes them special. The opinion we have as to why that is true is what we are in search of.
Knowing where these people come from and what limb of the family tree they are hanging from is important. That’s because family trees are very unusual. Each limb produces a different fruit. To take that one step further, it would seem that those limbs that don’t support the growth of the tree eventually die off. We don’t want to get to deep into this “tree” analogy or we will start talking about trimming, pruning, and all sorts of violent ways that family trees are reshaped.
Few people actually escape the early formation that their family can have on them as children. Although attitudes and prejudices are not genetic in nature, they do spread like viruses between people who live in close proximity to one another. Again, we don’t want to carry these analogies too far and start to see some of our family members as sick or diseased. It is enough to say that it is not always wise to seek advice about a family member from another family member. Insight is a wonderful thing, but “blood will always be thicker than water.”
Knowing where these people come from and what limb of the family tree they are hanging from is important. That’s because family trees are very unusual. Each limb produces a different fruit. To take that one step further, it would seem that those limbs that don’t support the growth of the tree eventually die off. We don’t want to get to deep into this “tree” analogy or we will start talking about trimming, pruning, and all sorts of violent ways that family trees are reshaped.
Few people actually escape the early formation that their family can have on them as children. Although attitudes and prejudices are not genetic in nature, they do spread like viruses between people who live in close proximity to one another. Again, we don’t want to carry these analogies too far and start to see some of our family members as sick or diseased. It is enough to say that it is not always wise to seek advice about a family member from another family member. Insight is a wonderful thing, but “blood will always be thicker than water.”
The great thing about families is that when our time comes and we are dead and gone, everyone slowly starts to speak kindly about us again. Speaking “ill of the dead” has been a no-no in family circles for centuries. Eventually some of us end up being “the skeleton in the closet.” If I can take some liberties with a common phrase, “keep your enemies close, but keep your family a secret.” Even then, it is impossible to escape the draw that the words “family secrets” has on those who seek to keep the family records.
To be fair, all of us can always claim a certain amount of originality, even in a family context. This usually shows up when we start our own limb in the family tree. The fresh infusion of an outside influence (spouse) usually causes a little turbulence as skeletons normally brought out to join us in family gatherings are temporarily left in locked closets. We hear a few strange noises and grumbles from behind the door, but are spared the vocal barbs that let fly when certain topics come up until out new spouse is fully integrated into the family.
To be fair, all of us can always claim a certain amount of originality, even in a family context. This usually shows up when we start our own limb in the family tree. The fresh infusion of an outside influence (spouse) usually causes a little turbulence as skeletons normally brought out to join us in family gatherings are temporarily left in locked closets. We hear a few strange noises and grumbles from behind the door, but are spared the vocal barbs that let fly when certain topics come up until out new spouse is fully integrated into the family.
This is where we find out that you don’t have to be dead yet to become a “skeleton in the closet.” Just your failure to come to the gathering and defend yourself can give you this special place of honor at the table. Please pass the meat, potatoes, and the gossip to your left. When the meal is over all that’s left are the bones.
No comments:
Post a Comment