Revelation

It comes to us, a simple thought, where the truth lay there in plain sight, our vision clear, free at last from the blur created by the deceit born of denial, the object of our attention prodded to the surface by a sense of urgency that can only come when one catches a fleeting glimpse of the end of a long and arduous journey.

Even as we gaze in wonder at this fact so long concealed by our own human desires, we pause to consider the options it presents as a gift to the person we have become, and a future filled with the knowledge it provides. Even as we stumble to find the words to express the emotions released by this revelation, we glance furtively to the left and to the right, and then quickly lay claim to what we have longed for since the first misadventures of our youth.

Knowing it was and will continue to remain invisible to many of those around us, we come to the conclusion that we must learn to share this gift without revealing its source. Only then can we hope to escape the ridicule that so often falls on our ears from those for whom the truth escapes their grasp.

As we chart our course in a new direction, we begin to feel the energy and enthusiasm we have not felt for so very long begin to fill our mind with optimism where doubt has lingered for what seems like an eternity. Beating back the despair, wondering if it really has come at long last, but apprehensive about so little time remaining.

Fearful that it is too late to use it to fulfill our destiny, we decide with a  shrug of our shoulders to cast out the last of our reservations, and free ourselves from the burden of a past that, in retrospect, seems wasted by the distractions of a shallower physical world. And then as quickly as it came, the thought is gone. All that remains is a change in course, and our determination to follow our dream.

If Not I, Then Who?

There comes a time when we all begin to think about the void we will leave behind when we leave. About two seconds after I wrote this line, I began to have second thoughts, and decided to take a few seconds to consider my options before I gave anyone who is reading this a chance to second guess what I am talking about. Ready, set, go!

Well, the bowling team survived my departure just fine, and last I heard they were making a run at first place in their division in spite of my ability to fold under pressure and pitch the last ball into the gutter. So there you have it! For just a few seconds I had you contemplating a real life or death situation.

Still, there were a few things to be learned from this "near death" experience. Never overestimate your net worth in any given situation is one of those things. It is true. You can’t take it with you. I had left my competitive spirit behind when I departed from the team, and they promptly gave it to whoever took my place. Maybe I should emphasize that word "promptly."

Now I have come full circle, and am once again face to face with the real question. If not I, then who? This time we can cautiously approach the question without any preconceived notions, and get a really good look at how often this one question comes up in our daily lives.

We all occupy a certain amount of space, so there is no way to prevent the void we always leave behind when we move on. That one thought makes it easier to come to the conclusion that what we leave behind is almost always more important than our brief visit to what is now history. What does that void look like?

This simple truth would be a lot more frightening than it sounds if it weren’t for the fact that we have a lot of control over what our history looks like. Now we can get serious about our discussion. Overestimating our net worth and rewriting history are two things that we consider to be foolish. Yet, we all still feel the urge to try.

I realize that we are now only a little closer to answering our question, and have already stumbled over two of our most common human failings. For the memory challenged I will repeat the question. "If not I, then who?"

Let’s take a run at that question from another angle. No one is irreplaceable, yet no one is a perfect fit for the void we leave behind. If you pick up an article of clothing and the sign says “One size fits all”, what they mean to say is “This will look bad on anyone who dares to try it on.”

There is a lesson to be learned here, but probably not the one you were expecting. Let’s take another look at what we have learned in this brief tutorial.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Never overestimate your value. What we leave behind is often more important than our individual contribution to the effort. We are seldom successful when we try to rewrite history. If the shoe fits, wear it. Life is much too short. And, what you want to leave behind you when you go is a really big pair of shoes.